Dating in the Rose City

Here I Go Again O.n My Own

2011-10-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Daters! Long time no see. I took a hiatus, got a boyfriend, and since he was a BabyMan (of course i'm without fault here, what?) I'm back out there and loving it!

Well, tolerating it. Not so much on the loving it.

After a string of friend-setups (which I can sum up by saying that just because someone is single and has a vagine, and the other person is single and has a penisss, that doesn't mean they should be sent off to dinner together.)

Oh, friends. You mean well.

When i was married I had the same disease; thinking everyone single should be set up on a date. What I know now is that the coupling-induced urge to turn everyone else into a couple is well-intentioned but not always well thought-out.

So I buckled, and bought a month on Match.

It has been two days.

I actually got asked out by an adorable man (10 years older than me) the first day I was on, so after attending a fashion show I met him for a drink. He was cute, quirky, skinny (yipes!) and as the evening progressed I got the feeling he was a bit kooky, and perhaps a bit of a skinflint. Watching him chase down the receipt for our first round of drinks (so he could write it off) made me really uncomfortable! Anyhoo, we went to another bar, closer to my house (because I had already had sake that night and a 7 & 7 at the fashion show so i didn't need a drunken drive home), and talked about WHAT I DO NOT KNOW. What I do know is that he very gentlemanly-ly offered to walk me home, and then planted a big old smooch on me when i turned him down (I lived so damn close and who lets a total stranger walk them home???), which was fun.

HE'S THE OLDEST MAN I'VE EVER MADE OUT WITH.

Match

2009-11-12T09:17:00.001-08:00

About a month ago I canceled my Match.com account. It was good fodder for stories, sure, but after a week or two, that was pretty much it.

Being on Match made me look like I was available (duh) when I wasn't so much. I didn't have a lot of spare time or energy, so unless I was SUPER interested in someone - which rarely happened - emailing felt like an obligation. I was on a three day average response time, which I know isn't cool.

(Note: People who say they are on Match because they don't have the time to date, are lying. It takes a LOT of time to date on Match.)

And then there's the fact that I'm really just too nice. Being on Match made me feel BAD. I hated that I might hurt someone's feelings. On a daily basis I was contacted by men who were putting themselves out there and maybe one guy out of twelve was someone I might want to respond to. What was the kindest thing to do; respond with a polite "no thank you" or just no response at all? I tried both: My "no thanks" was mostly greeted with either the "come on, give me a try, you won't regret it" or "whatever, you're probably a bitch anyway". And the no response was a lousy choice as well. I couldn't win.

So, I said goodbye to Match. A month of my life and $34.99 later I knew it wasn't going to work for me. It absolutely and positively does work for some, just not this girl.

And probably not for this guy either. I didn't change his name because without it parts of the email don't make sense - and I use the word "sense" loosely. (He lives halfway across the country and will hopefully never come across this blog.) Also, I didn't do any edits. This is cut and pasted in it's entirety, all typos, grammatical errors, etc., are all left unaltered.

hi my name is henry... well i just wanted to see if we would have a one night stand? ohh before you disregard this let me tell you a tad bit bout my brownself. i work construction paper planes, orogami, paper ships, and fortune tellers. Its an alright profession considering im my own boss. Im known to be a jerk and rude but them jiggaboos had it coming... i mean why do gimps get the handycaps space. I have a few dui's nothing to major a few domestics. I mean i like my dinner to be done after a long day of work. you should see the paper cuts, then you would understand why i had to punch them in the ovaries. but other than that im a great guy.

lol jk just trying to meet some cool people to chat and get to know. my name is henry but they call me hershey or hersh. i do work construction which makes it hard to meet people cause im out of town most of the time. well tell me bout yourself. well hope to hear from you.

And I leave you with that, dear ones.

xoxo

Lulabelle

Julie McCoy, Cruise Director

2009-10-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hi kids!

I was reprimanded the other day for shirking on my blogging duties. (I can't imagine the flack Veronica gets since she hasn't written in, like, 437 days or something like that! She is happily snuggling up on a regular basis with her eleventeen year old, though, so she gets some slack.)

Anyway, oddly enough, it was a guy who was on me for not writing more often these days. He said, "Us guys depend on you to steer us around in the dating world." And you know, he's got something there. I was expecting more women to follow us, but I've noticed a lot of our readers (at least the commentators) are guys. So guys, I sincerely apologize. If you can't count on me, who can you count on? I've been a lousy Captain and Cruise Director, but I promise from here on out to help you steer clear of the storms - or worst case, weather them.

Ladies - you too, of course, of course!

Love and kisses,

Lulabelle Jones, Cruise Director

Uck

2009-10-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

It's never fun having to tell someone that you aren't feeling a spark. But when it's someone really wonderful and you know, not just suspect, but actually KNOW that it is going to hurt them, there's very little that feels worse...

I just had to do this to a fabulous guy I really care about and it f'ing sucks and I feel horrible and sad and like I pretty much want to go and cry.

So there you go.

~ L

Question

2009-10-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, Lovelies -

Sorry about the radio silence. I keep trying to write. I swear I do. But it seems like it's just really haaaaaard. I have plenty to write about, but when I sit down at my computer, it all just starts to swirl in my head and I can't put together two coherent sentences.

So, please hang tight. I promise to be effective soon enough....

In the meantime, I'd like to present the following question (which appeared in my inbox today) for discussion:

"Why do otherwise intelligent & intuitive women such as ourselves, date men that we've been warned about as being potential douchebags, by women that we trust? There's a pretty good chance that they're right and we know that you can't change a douchebag's douchebagness."

Have at it!

Talk soon...

xoxo

Lulabelle

Ten Dating Dont's for the Guys

2009-10-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

A date gone wrong isn't always a bad thing. I mean, if there were only good dates we'd have nothing to learn from, right? So, guys, consider this a little education.

1. If your date is supposed to be at your house at 7pm, do not be in the shower and unable to answer the door when she arrives. Leaving her standing on your porch in the rain wondering if she's even at the right house is not a good way to start the evening.

2. When you take your date on a tour of your pad, do not tell her how much you pay in rent. (If she seems like the kind of girl who would care, you shouldn't be on a date with her in the first place. There are better women out there.)

3. It doesn't matter how long you've known your date, if you haven't seen her in five years take your affection cues from her. If she's not overly touchy-feely right out of the gate, you shouldn't be either.

4. Inquire about your date's taste in movies before you start suggesting Science Fiction movies and/or movies based on comic books. She could like them fine, she might think they're great, or this just may get her wondering if she really does, in fact, find your geekiness endearing. You're better off keeping her as out of her head as possible, as long as possible.

5. Even if you believe your date feels the same way about them you do, do not slam any of her friends. This will make you look like an absolute ass.

6. If it is raining out and you have to pass the passenger side of the car anyway, open the car door for your date. You should do it even if it's not raining, of course, but if it's raining and you don't, you will lose points.

7. If telling a story involves physicality, remember that you are bigger than she is.

8. Do not continue asking throughout the course of the evening if your date is having fun. (This is part of that whole "keeping her out of her head" thing.)

9. Do not tell your date how much money you made last week/last month. (see #2)

And last but definitely not least...

10. If you are lucky enough to get a goodnight kiss, do not, I repeat, do NOT, jiggle your date's boobs.

You're welcome.

~ L

Sunday, October 4th

2009-10-04T23:24:00.001-07:00

Oh Diary...

No, no, no, no, no.

I now remember why Joe and I only go out once or twice every several years. Like episodes of Moonlighting where Cybil Shepard's close-ups were a tad blurred out leaving her flaw free and soft and pretty, my memory has done the same thing with Joe.

I am officially done recycling this one. Reality is, it has never just been timing keeping things from working out between us. It would take all my fingers and most of my toes to count the "Oh yeah..." moments I had last night.

Andy would be so proud.

Onward and upward I guess. Or at least forward!

xoxo

~ L

Saturday, October 3rd

2009-10-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary -

So sorry I've been a slacker as of late. Life went from a nice leisurely stroll to RUN LIKE THE DEVIL and I went a bit sideways - and mental. I'm breathing normally again, though. Whew!

Although I haven't had the chance to write much lately, it doesn't mean there's been a lack of dating. I've been out three more times with the good-to-fine date guy from a few weeks ago. I wish I could say this means the train is heading into Romance Station... But after four outings and still no spark, I'm quite sure I'm on a ride straight to Platonicville.

Oh well. I do think I'm going to end up with a pretty cool friend out of it, so at least I have that.

In other news, I have a date tonight with Joe. Joe is a guy I've known for almost twenty years. He's someone my friend Andy would call "one of my recycled men". We go out on dates again and again, but over the course of several months and many years.

I'd say Joe and I have probably been out ten times total (say that four times fast) but none of these dates have ever turned into a relationship in even the most general sense. We've never suffered from a lack of compatibility, just really bad timing. Will tonight be any different? I suppose anything is possible, which is why I recycle, but I'm not really expecting it. Really, though, I'm looking forward to a fun night out with a pretty dang cute guy. And hey, I'll probably get a kiss or three, so I'm excited!

Speaking of, I just looked at the clock and I need to bust my ass and get prettied up quick! I promise I'll let you know how the date goes - and not in three weeks from now. (Sorry again!)

xoxo

~ L

The Adventures of Miss E

2009-09-28T22:33:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend one of my girlfriends hosted a small “Ladies Night” dinner party. (Did anyone else just get a vision of pillow fights and male strippers in cop uniforms?) One of the attendees, Elizabeth, had gone on a blind date earlier in the week - our hostess had set her up - and over wine she gave us all the details.

** Quick background on Elizabeth: She is 38, fit, attractive, has her Masters, is very well read, travels extensively and in mere moments can have you laughing so hard you’re crying.**

The night of the date Elizabeth walked into the bar and immediately noted – with an inner gasp – that the guy held a striking resemblance to her train-wreck of an ex-boyfriend. Not one to let something like this affect her for more than a moment, she shook his hand and sat down.

Through the next two hours of wine and dinner, Elizabeth tried every tactic possible to make conversation. When he responded to her questions with more than just a yes or no, his answers were vaguely insulting – almost as if he was talking to an ignorant five year old.

And she couldn’t get him to laugh! Seriously, this woman could get a monk to break his vow of silence!

Eventually the night came to a close. He paid the check and offered to walk her to her car. (He may not have been a conversationalist, but at least he was a gentleman.) Then, as Elizabeth got her keys out of her purse, he suddenly gave her a giant bear hug and a big kiss on the cheek.

HUH?

Completely dumbfounded by the quite unexpected hug and kiss Elizabeth stood still for a second, said, and I quote, “Well… Keep me posted,” turned, and got in the car.

And that, kids, was that. No context, just, “Well… Keep me posted.”

That just might be the best end to a bad date ever.

"Sorry, my phone says we're not compatible."

2009-09-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Because, really, who cares about mystery and romance?

http://www.intelius.com/mobile?trackit=188

~ L

Breaking Bad (Habits)

2009-09-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a fabulous dinner with one of my favorite men. He’s truly wonderful, but , very unfortunately, completely not date-able. A recent divorce has left him with a lot to sort through, but he knows it. He’s aware and getting right in there to straighten out the what’s what. He’s bound and determined to get through this place and exit a stronger, wiser, better man.

I have no doubt he’ll get there.

Our friendship is a great success story for me. I’ve never been the girl who likes the bad boy, but give me an unavailable man and my world is complete! Completely f*cked, of course, but complete nonetheless. Today this man is a close friend, but a year and a half ago I would have been head over heels crazy in love. I would have been sitting, waiting and waiting and waiting for him to be all fixed up and ready to love me back ‘cause it was totally going to happen. Totally.

And of course it totally wouldn’t happen and I’d end up torn to pieces. Totally.

This was my cycle - and it got me nowhere. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think "They" have something there.

But I'm over the insanity! I want to go somewhere!

These days I try to keep my eyes open to the whole picture. I pay attention. I look and listen for the clues I used to ignore. I force my brain to override my heart at times. It's an on-going battle - years of self-training are hard to undo! But I’m getting better for sure.

It’s not just where we live or whom we meet (or don’t) that makes dating hard. We make dating hard all by ourselves! But I truly believe if we’re ready and willing to acknowledge our issues/cycles/patterns and do the work to get to the other side, we can all be stronger, wiser and better.

(And then we can hope that at that point, dating gets easier! ;) )

xoxo

~ L

The Twisted Web I Weave

2009-09-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Sooo... I am going back "home" this weekend, and among various and sundry friends I will see my ex-husband... and his ex-girlfriend... who is one of my BFFs from college.

When I first met the Ex-Hub, I actually set the two of them up on a blind date. (One of those, "You're both tall--you'll hit it off" things.) Apparantly the EH spent the whole "date" talking about me. (High-larity.)

Turns out that the EH, the BFF and I were all very close friends after that, and it also turns out that the EH and the BFF had way more in common than the EH and I did. Which is why they were such good friends. Totally nothing sinister, just good, solid friends.

Fast-forward to three years after our divorce. EH and the BFF go to lunch, and looking at each other over a plate of baba ghanoush, suddenly realize that maybe they had what they were looking for all along! It's right there in your eyes! Cue the Yacht Rock, pull out the Murphy Bed, pour the glasses of Blue Nun.

So they start a romance... of which the only details I gleaned were from their Facebook pages. Lots of double-entendres and inside jokes. (Which--truthfully--skeeved me out quite a bit.) But ferreals, I was interested in their goings-on. Who wouldn't be? But nobody told me squat. Boo.

Cut to not quite a year later, and their relationship is over. Which I only found out because I was home visiting one weekend and ran into the EH... WITH HIS ARM AROUND A GIRL WHO WAS NOT THE BFF. Juicy goodness.

Anyhoo.

Let's fast-forward again. This weekend I'll be in town, and I invited both of them out as part of a group of friends on Friday night. Both of them were like, "Yeah, um... well..." ... totally uncomf with the presence of the other.

Here's my thing: I'm not the one with the heebie jeebies about putting them in the same room. WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM? It must be good... heck, we're divorced and we get along better than he does with the BFF.

All I know is that I can't WAIT to find out. Yay.

~ Vern

Do You Like... Cats?

2009-09-16T09:46:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ-O3c1sjjI

No Fatties.

~ Vern

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2009-09-12T10:24:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was talking with one of my girlfriends, Kate. She told me reading the blog was making her appreciate her "married" status that much more. She said that she loved reading the horror stories, but suggested that Veronica, Samantha and I should make sure we're writing about some of our good dates, too. Ensure we don't suck every last ounce of hope from our readers.

We do have good dates, and I completely agree with her. (Although, if we were having many good ones there wouldn't be a point behind this whole thing!)

Tuesday night I had a date. With Kate's words in my head, I was going to write all about it. I felt like the date was a good one and I wanted to keep morale up a bit around here. But last night as I went to bed without sharing the details, once again, I started wondering why I wasn't finding the time to write. Suddenly, epiphany! I had been so relieved it hadn't been a bad date that I had gotten ahead of myself. In the light of a new day, my "good date" had become a "fine date".

I just couldn't free up ten minutes to tell you about drinks with a guy who was cute and conversation was fine and we left with a hug and a "let's do this again sometime", yet I didn't pray to God that I would wake up to an email from him with plans for the next adventure. It just didn't qualify as worthwhile to write about - or read for that matter - because it was just another night in the life of a single girl in the Rose City.

So, there you go. Not all good dates equal hope because mostly, well, they're just fine. But I know hope is alive because we all keep trying. We continue putting ourselves out there hoping to meet the person we're going to have a thousand GREAT dates with! We roll with the good, the bad, the ugly, because that's what it takes.

Happy hunting!

~ Lulabelle

Let Us Hook You Up!

2009-09-11T17:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think Lula hit on something... if you're not averse to sloppy seconds, why not let us hook you up? (It's not like we're sleeping with these guys... we're talking cocktails and conversation.)

Consider us your "first impression" scouts: we're dating like bandits, looking for men who would do right by a woman... some of them are just not necessarily right for us. I mean, "John" sounds like a great guy -- I absolutely adored his profile and if you're into smart, funny, professional, a little goofy, a little adventurous, and physically active he's absolutely A+. But like Lula, I'm also rick-diculously busy and need someone who can hang with that... and not usurp all my free time.

But if you've got the time to devote to someone, why not let us make the introduction?

Let us know what you're looking for! Email us at datinginrosecity@yahoo.com with your top 5 must-haves, your top 5 nice-to-haves, and your top 3 not-acceptables/turnoffs. We'll keep it confidential, so feel free to send your age, what part of town you live in, and even a photo. Who knows, right? It could happen!!!

On that note, I'd be happy to introduce a well-off, interesting and gentlemanly 45-year-old to a girl who likes hickeys.

~ Vern

Bert and Ernie

2009-09-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

Up first: I think the "Vacation Spell" has been broken! I know Anonymous will be disturbed to hear this, but it's true. I can't be 100% sure yet, there are a few more days until I'm officially in the clear... But all signs point to "yay" - and I'm a happy camper. I haven't talked about this guy yet in case you're curious. I'm holding it all close right now as I'm a bit protective of what is truly near and dear, but I promise I will divulge further details if and when the time is right.

Now, in other news, I just got home from a date with one of the Match.com guys I've been emailing. We'll call him John.

I was really excited about my date with John. His profile was fantastic. Pretty dang perfect, actually. Not like it was written by a player perfect, but instead a real guy truly looking for a real girl. He also looked plenty cute in his pictures. Score! I sent Veronica a link to his page. She said he was "scrumptious" and it was as if he'd written the profile just for her. She made me promise that if I didn't like him I would set her up. (Kind of hilarious since the problem in that logic is that Vern and I are a lot alike and the chances of him not being a fit for me but perfect for her are slim....)

Unfortunately, neither of us will be going out with John (again).

Ladies, listen up here because honestly, this guy will be great for one of you. John is 33. He has a good job working for The Man. He has a dog who is one of the sweetest looking animals you've ever seen. John wants a girlfriend to adore and love and create a life with. He's not hot, but he is average guy cute, and I would bet solid money he's a good man through and through.

Even with all these things, though, I know John isn't right for me. The key factor is the social aspect of his life. He does not have a lot of friends, and those he has are married or married with kids. (At some point in time most single people I know have been in this same stage, so I pass absolutely no judgment.) He doesn't have a life outside of his work and he is lonely. I don't mean that in a pathetic way, either. John wants a girlfriend who will provide him with constant companionship. He said tonight that if he was in relationship he would want to make sure to see his friends once a month.

Once a month? Wow. Um, that's a lot of pressure for me...

You see, I am very social. I make no apologies for it, it's who I am. I have a handful of close friends I see consistently, two handfuls of good friends I see often, and another three to four handfuls of friends and acquaintances I get together with now and again. I have room in my life for someone else and will make plenty more for the right man, but he will need to be okay with sharing me... As well, I want a man who has his own life, who has found value in what existed before there was me.

I am one of those people who believes that creating a successful, healthy relationship includes finding a balance between the lives you have separately and the new one you are creating together. Key words in that sentence are, "lives you have separately". If this was my first time contemplating the potential dating scenario between John and me, I might be inclined to consider giving it a shot. But it's not. I've been here twice before. So, I am going to pass knowing we will both find someone better suited to us.

And the search continues.

Veronica said tonight: "Let's make a little wish for him that he finds a Bert to his Ernie." Want to help make that wish come true? If you think you might like to be John's Bert send us an email telling us why and we might just hook a girl and a boy up.

Loves to you all!

xoxo

L

PS. If I get time tomorrow I'll tell you about my other Match date. I know, I know. The suspense is going to kill you...

Kiss of Death

2009-09-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Do you have a "kiss of death"? Is there one particular thing that happens when you're dating someone and you know, you just know, that the death knell has been sounded?

My kiss has been bestowed when a reference is made to leaving town for a vacation/get-away/business trip/etc. If it's longer than a two or three day weekend, no matter how good things are, the moment he leaves town I know it will be done.

It's happened at week three, month four, it's even happened at 1.3 years - and I haven't a clue... I don't do a Jekyll & Hyde while he's gone and turn into some crazy chick who can't stop checking on him or telling him how much I miss him. I'm the same girl - the one he was digging - when he's away. But I swear to god. It happens Every. Single. Time.

So, back to my question. Do you have a kiss of death you will share? 'Cause, yes, while it is kind of hilarious, I also need to know I'm not the only one who gets to see their future in a flash...

L

Sunday, Sept 6, 2009

2009-09-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

I'd like to know who coined the phrase, "All good things must come to an end," so I can punch them in the face. All good things shouldn't have to come to an end.

Max left on that big jet plane this afternoon, heading back to his life. Reading the email he sent me while waiting for his boarding call I had a moment of feeling a significant loss. For a few days I could turn a corner and he might be there, and it felt good. Reassuring. Calming. A little exciting even. My Max was in my immediate world and it was fabulous.

Now he's gone and even though I only saw him for a few hours, I miss him something awful. It will pass fairly quickly, but in the meantime it sucks, plain and simple.

Ger.

On a brighter note, I've been emailing with two guys on Match that I'm pretty excited about meeting. (No sarcasm there, Diary.) One is 35 and the other is 44, and from what I can tell they couldn't be much more different. Pretty typical for me. It would be swell if I dug one of them, for sure, but all I really hope is that my dates go better than Veronica's! Quelle horreur!

I'm exhausted. I would love to write more, Diary, but I just don't have it in me. Time for bed, most definitely.

xoxo

L

The Eleventeen-Year-Old

2009-09-06T08:11:00.001-07:00

Huge admission: I have a crush on him. Second admission: It might be because I feel like an actual "girl" around him -- and not like a buddy. He opens doors (car and building!), holds my hand, flatters me, makes me blush, orders for me, kisses my forehead when we cuddle, picks me up for dates, calls to say hi, listens to me and my friends talk and REMEMBERS what we said because he's actually paying attention (and note to readers: not everything we talk about is ridiculous and shallow. We own local businesses and spend an inordinate amount of time strategizing and exchanging ideas)... what else? Gawd, everything. I feel like a lady, and frankly my "alpha" tendencies have driven every relationship I've had, so it's making me feel vulnerable to let someone else take the reins. I'm not comfortable with it... I hope there's a "yet" in there... because this is what I've been complaining about as missing from relationships since 1999.

So anyhoo, just like he said he would, he took me to brunch the morning after cancelling our date. He was sweet, funny, affectionate. We wound up on a long waiting list so we took a walk down the street holding hands, then he got me coffee and a refill while we waited in the restaurant. He would pull me close when it got crowded and rub my back or hold my hand if we had room to stand apart. Oh my god, heaven! I felt like I was melting. It was a total high-school-you-silly-girl experience.

The only holdup for me: He's 29.

My mom has a big problem with his age. Apparently I have a problem with it.

I don't want to have a problem with it.

But it's like there's some unspoken protocol I feel like I have to follow where in order to fall for someone, they have to A) be older than me, B) have more money than me, and C) be more "serious" than me, since at 38 I still feel like I'm 25.

What the eff is my damage?

~ Vern

The Second (Disastrous) Blind Date

2009-09-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

So the other night when I spazzed and set up a Match date, I had him meet me at the same bar where I met the guy who tried to give me hickeys. The bartenders are so amazingly nice and funny, and I felt safe there, and totally OK with letting them in on why I showed up 2x in a week with 2 different guys.

So Bachelor #2 was 30 mins late b/c he couldn't find the place, and by that time I was having a really good time just chatting up the staff that I severely couldn't give a shit if he showed. In fact, I was hoping he wouldn't, because A) I only invited him b/c I felt rejected by the eleventeen-year-old, and B) I kind of just wanted to pack it up and go home.

And then he showed. He was nice enough, nice-looking, but totally socially awkward. When he sat down he spent a looooooong minute just staring at the bar top and finally I was like, "Would you like to see a cocktail list?" Off to the races!

So I kept trying to make conversation... which was like pulling teeth. He was a seriously bizarre human being. Even the bartenders noticed, and kept talking to me and serving me drinks I hadn't ordered.

After FORTY-FIVE MINUTES I was like, "Well, I have to go to a birthday party," and the bartender said to him, "Shall I give you the check?" and B2 said, "We'll split it." So the bartender goes, "Don't worry -- we've covered the lady's drinks." Um, hooray! So he paid for his drinks, I left a fat tip, and we stood up, at which point he tried to shake my hand, then hug me, then shake my hand again. It was beyond uncomfortable.

So I said, "I have to validate my parking. It was nice to meet you," and he left. So both bartenders were like, "What was that??? Your date was like a dead fish! You're way too cute to date a dud like that. We'll set you up with some cute guys from Nike." HAR! Awesome. Anyhoo, I had an invite from Lula to meet her down the street, but decided instead to go home.

And once I got there, I disabled my Match profile. Because even though you cancel, it's still visible. So I made it invisible. I'm done. DONE.

~ Vern

Max

2009-09-05T01:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the best few hours I’ve had in a long time. An old flame of mine, Max, was in town and we were able to catch up over drinks.

I first met Max when a mutual friend took me along for happy hour one night. (At Chili’s, no less. Hilarious.) Max was in a relationship, as was I. It wasn’t love at first sight. I thought he was funny and attractive, but Max didn’t really register on my radar. No man would have as I was in the midst of chaos on my home front.

Six months later and both of us single now, Max and I had crossed paths a few times since Happy Hour and I’d developed a slight school-girl crush on him. The man was charming, just self-deprecating enough to be darling, and lord did he smell fantastic. I still never thought about dating him - until we met again at a birthday party for our friend. We saw each other across the room and something clicked in. It was, as they say, “on”. When I left that evening he handed me his business card on which he’d written his home number, cell number, direct number at his office and email address. I giggled the whole way home…

Max and I dated on and off for the next eight months. We made each other laugh and think, and we had the kind of chemistry that ignites forest fires. I was crazy about him. But timing rules everything, and we were no exception. When my previous relationship had ended, I was already done and over it. Max wasn’t so lucky. His heart had been broken and launching into a new relationship wasn’t something he was capable - or ready - to do.

Dating Max wrecked me. Eventually with a lot of will power I started keeping him at arms length and tried to move my life in a direction that didn’t include him. (If you’ve ever wanted something desperately then you know how hard this was for me.)

I was traveling for work when I met Bryan. Bryan lived in New York. We hit it off and a long distance relationship was born. When he asked me to move across the country I said yes. Bryan was a wonderful reason to move, so was New York. And so was Max.

I never told Max I was moving. I was afraid he would ask me to stay, and I was scared to death he wouldn’t. Two weeks before I left for New York, he ran into my best friend. She told him I was moving; that he had screwed up and lost me once and for all.

Max showed up at my door around 2am that night. He asked me why I hadn’t told him I was leaving, but he didn’t ask me not to go. With all his super powers, the man couldn’t read my mind. He had no idea that with one word, “stay”, I would have. We spent the rest of the evening together and in the morning he said goodbye, wished me well and left.

I cried.

I moved to New York.

Fast forward ten years later: I’m single and back in Portland, Max is married and lives in another state. We haven't seen each other in nine years, but he and I have stayed in touch via phone and email and have become wonderful friends. If he asked me to move to a deserted island with him tomorrow I would do it in a heartbeat because he is Max. But I don’t pine over him because he is only Max.

I was in bed when he called last night. It was ridiculously inconvenient to see him, but there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to miss my opportunity. No way were another nine years going to pass us by. I got out of bed, threw on jeans, a tank top, flip-flops, some lip-gloss and a baseball cap, and called it good. I didn’t give a passing thought to trying to look “hot”. All that really mattered was I was going to see my friend.

Max and I told stories we remembered from all those years ago. We talked about our lives now. We laughed so hard at times we almost cried. We told each other repeatedly how good it was to be in the same room again. Then, as the bar closed around us, we hugged, kissed a quick goodbye and went our separate ways.

When someone gets you, truly gets you, when you have that connection, it’s an amazing thing. I never thought about Max being that guy until the evening ten years ago our eyes connected across the room. Seeing him last night reminded me that when you are searching for "someone" you begin looking for specifics, your own personal “list” if you will. You get in your head and forget that it can be anyone at any moment… But if you let your breath out, relax and look around you, he could be right there looking at you.

Thank you, Max. I love you bunches and bunches and tons.

~ Lulabelle

Rejection? Redemption?

2009-09-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

So tonight I was supposed to go out with my adorable eleventeen-year-old, but he canceled last-minute. He is too tired to do anything. WHAT? Isn't that the whole point of being eleventeen? That you can shake off the snoozies and get your ass across a dinner table from a woman who's a sure thing? What the EFF.

I felt kinda rejected. I definitely felt disappointed. He offered to take me to brunch in the morning to make it up to me. I was nonplussed. Um, BRUNCH? I want cocktails, and then tipsy nookie. I want a sleepover with bad-breath nookie in the a.m. (And apparently what I want indicates that what I need is counseling! But hey, I'm human. Don't judge.)

So instead, I emailed one of the Match guys who has been trying to set something up with me, and we are meeting for a glass of wine tonight. In an hour. He was like, "I never have nights free so spontaneously, so this is like kismet." Ha. :) But ferreals, with all the other shit going on in my life, I can't spend a night on the sofa feeling butt-hurt over a broken date. Right? Right.

Wish me luck!

Really? Really.

2009-09-04T09:09:00.001-07:00

So when I first moved to Portland I had tons of time on my hands... and a pug... so I would take the pug on walks around town to get out of the house/check out the city. Ladies, let me tell ya, a pug is no man-magnet. Women and children loved him, but guys would kind of be creeped out and give us a wide berth on sidewalks. Ha. I mean, I get it -- it takes a man of true personal confidence to love a pug. But I digress.

One pug-less afternoon I went for coffee, and the guy in line in front of me kept turning around. I thought he was waiting for someone. So I got my coffee, sat down, and he was kind of dawdling... then he sat down next to me. He was cute, he was funny. We chatted. It was pretty nice! Hooray! He asked me out. Even better!

Cut to the chase: We go to dinner, where he gets absolutely tanked (at Masu, no less, so it probably cost him 50 bones to consume all that Bombay Sapphire). While sitting at the bar, he PUT HIS HAND DOWN THE BACK OF MY JEANS and started talking dirty to me. Like, really, really PORNY DIRTY. And people could hear him. It was like all conversation stopped and all you heard was some creep going, "I really like a shaved p###y." Neato. My date. Yay me. For some inane reason I let him walk me back to my car, and on the way he pushed me into a doorway (thinking he was being sexy--though I had been like "I'm smiling now, but you need to get your hand the hell outta my pants" at dinner) and tried to kiss me and get his hand up my shirt. I was thinking, "Do I knee him in the balls? Is he going to pass out? Stab me?" WTF.

My mother would have killed me herself if she had known I was out in a strange town with a strange man who felt no compunction about feeling strange girls up in sushi bars.

Anyhoo, obvs I lived through it without having to go all TaeBo on his ass or call the cops. And that guy is still out there, and likely still forcibly fondling women. I haven't been back to that coffee shop since.

~ Vern

Note from a Reader...

2009-09-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

THIS JUST IN FROM AN INTREPID READER. YAY. HAPPINESS. NOTE: Yes, we know there is hope. We are just having a blast sharing our trials, tribulations and personal f*ckups that we're going through right now. If you can't tell your BFFs about your dates, who can you tell? ... oh right ... the blogosphere. So be it. xoxo, Vern

RE: dating.... For what it's worth, I hear ya! It's hard here in Portland -- even harder than it had been for me back on the East Coast.

I'd been on and off Match.com several times over the years -- I had no luck, even though I know two couples who met (and married) through Match. I tried eHarmony once, but kept getting the message that "none of our subscribers match your profile at this time." None?! I did meet some pleasant people through OK Cupid (free service). JDate was a waste of time and money. I know one or two people who met actual human beings through Craigslist, but I wouldn't advise going that route.

Speed dating is a fun adventure. I found it exhausting after about the sixth or seventh five-minute "date." I finally gave in and let my friends arrange a blind date with a guy they'd been trying to set me up with for two years. That guy is now my boyfriend, and we've been together about 1.5 years. So there is hope! :)

-- (Insightful girl who will remain anonymous)

missinyourbusiness

2009-09-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

Recently I was lucky enough to re-connect with an old friend from high school, Elaine. Elaine is phenomenal, and I don't use that term loosely. She is perfectly lovely - and a perfect bitch. She is intelligent, hilarious, witty, strong and a total MILF. (You should have seen her knocking their socks off at her 20 year high school reunion!) If you're looking for advice, Elaine will give it to you. You don't want advice? Too bad, so sad. You're going to get it anyway.

I wouldn't change a thing about her.

Elaine has a blog, missinyourbusiness, that is nothing short of brilliant - and I'm not saying that because she's my friend. It really is. Back in April Elaine wrote a post on how to have a happy marriage. From finding the right relationship down to the marriage itself, she told her readers just exactly how they need to go about it.

I wanted to share...

http://www.twolia.com/blogs/missinyourbusiness/2009/04/05/for-lucy-with-love/

I also wanted to share that this morning on another blog someone was kind enough to call us "a bizarro missinyourbusiness". I'm quite sure he (yes, he) didn't mean it to be kind, but to have any kind of comparison at all to Elaine's blog makes me want to do a little happy dance.

Yay us!

Share Your Tales of Woe (and WHOA)

2009-09-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

Email us at datinginrosecity@yahoo.com to share your dating stories. Spill, spill!

Thoughts from a half-asleep mind.

2009-09-02T23:18:00.000-07:00

My body gave into exhaustion about an hour ago, but my brain is still trying to make a go of the evening. Not the best combo ever, so please pardon me if I sound a bit dis-jointed at times.

A bit ago I was reading something someone wrote on a friend's FB page (that's Facebook for those of you not in the know) and I want to clarify that this blog isn't just about dating on Match.com. It's about dating, period. Yes, all three of us are on Match, but we are also out in the real word trying to make a go of meeting someone who is going to bring something to our lives.

A guy friend of mine said earlier tonight, "It's just as hard out there for us as it is for you." I know this is a true statement. I hear it often. It actually may even be harder for them since society has spent years teaching us the man is supposed to do the approaching, the calling, the emailing, the texting. Men have to carry the brunt of the weight at the get-go. Sorry about that, Guys.

Dating is hard, and it just might get harder as we get older. We get set in our ways. We get jaded. We get used to doing things for ourselves. We get used to being strong. We get used to filling our time with our friends, our families, our lives, and forget to leave room for anyone else. We form opinions, beliefs and "understandings" of how things are, and those become our truths.

We make our lives better - and we make them worse.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Boys are dumb, girls are crazy. Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. There is no equation for finding love. It's about knowing yourself, making choices, opening yourself up, putting it out there, taking the hits and learning lessons. It's also about adventures, growth, happiness, fulfillment, maybe some sex if you're lucky, and one day falling in love.

As I said earlier in this post, us gals are here to talk about dating. You're going to read about something stupid some guy did or said or wrote, sure, but the three of us girls aren't man-bashers. Veronica will share when she falls flat on her face. Samantha will tell us when she's sitting by the phone waiting for "him" to call and he doesn't. I'm going to write when I fall for yet another unavailable man and suffer because of it. Why are we going to open ourselves up for examination, likely even judgment, when we could just point at other people? Because Veronica, Samantha and I are are not perfect. We aren't sitting high and mighty on our pedestals. We're not claiming to be God's Gift to Man. We are just us.

Fabulous, absolutely, but just us.

And really, we are you.

xoxo

Lulabelle

Here we are again

2009-09-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

To catch you up, this is my second time on Match. (I'm a glutton for punishment.) The last time I was on it I really didn't date much, but happily, I found a guy that I thought would be "the one." (You would think I would have learned my lesson, but did I mention I'm a glutton for punishment?) But this time, not only am I NOT looking for the love of my life, but my loveliest girls are on it as well and they're buckled in with me for this ride. I'm thinking, what better way to go though the misery of dating than to have your best gals with you?

So the experience thus far has been very entertaining... and provided a few laughs along the way. Like the email I received from one man who wrote, "Should I tell your parents or will you go for a church or a quickie?" Or the man who winks at me with no picture, then sends me a photo of just his chest. But don't be discouraged--there are some great guys out there, and some that have become friends--but there are so many of them that haven't a clue. Perhaps they will stumble upon this blog and learn a thing or two.

An Open Letter to Match.com Men

2009-09-02T13:07:00.000-07:00

Note from Lulabelle: Damn! I honestly had no idea this post would create such chaos. I suppose had I written it further into the blog, after readers had been given the opportunity to get to know me, it would have been better. But as my friend W likes to say, "Hindsight 20/20 is a totally useless power."

This letter was written after a conversation with a girlfriend earlier that day about her own experience on Match.com, but it actually comes from years of conversations with friends, male and female, about dating in general. It's not my own personal proclamation to men out there. It was never meant to be insulting, only funny. If you are one of the people that read this and took offense, my apologies. ~ L

Dear Match.com Men,

I am not desperate.

I meet men almost every time I'm out. I go on plenty of dates. I get kissed on a fairly regular basis. My profile is not on Match because I am hungering for male attention and any man will do.

I realize it takes guts to put yourself out there, and I respect you for doing so. But let me ask you a question: Would you walk up to a girl in a bar who is so obviously out of your league it's not even funny, tap her on the shoulder and without so much as an introduction say, "Want to go out sometime?"

My guess is you answered "no". Because of course you wouldn't. (Well, unless you're working the law of averages and know that at some point in time probability will be in your favor so you're willing to take the abuse in the meantime.)

MATCH.COM DOES NOT MEAN THE PLAYING FIELD IS EVEN.

I'm sure your friends would say you're a great guy. I'm glad to hear you like animals, since animals are rad. Knowing how to cook is great; now you'll never starve to death. And yes, the beach IS pretty. I totally agree.

You're swell, I get that. But listen. The cold hard truth is that even if we had 25 truly important things in common, I am not going to date you just because I am on Match.com. I am out of your league. Period.

Reality bites, but it always applies.

Love and kisses,

Lulabelle Jones

Who Says All the Charming Men are Taken?

2009-09-02T12:35:00.001-07:00

Here are my favorite emails so far from NotAMatch.com. Bachelor #1: A braggart. And note: I did not invite him to my house. Bachelor #2: A corker. "Hi, how is you?" he wrote. For sure that guy has body parts in his fridge)

BACHELOR #1:
I just was enjoying reading your profile and your pic is beautiful! So, I'll be right over with vino and "Blazing Saddles", sounds fun! I just sold my house and am moving next month! I put a high price on my house and after only a month on the market, a guy walked in a said, "I'll take it", cash sale, 3 times what I paid for it! An offer that I couldn't refuse.... I have a son who is 5, he lives w/ his mother, plus I have some new business opportunities in the Portland area. I will still lease a place here as well, as my contracting business is still going well and I have guys that can run it for me. So, I'll be running back and forth some.
I'd love to build a friendship with you and learn more about you.
I look forward to hearing from you........
I hope your weekend is going great!

BACHELOR #2:

Hi, how is you ? I was browsing through the site when i came across your profile. You are smiling like a star there and your smile can make an angel with one wing go extra mile. I must confess your profile really captured my attention and i will like to get acquainted to you because no one knows what the future holds for us. Every body come's into our life's for a reason and me emailing you is for a reason. I believe life is too short so we better live it to the fullest. Who Knows if we are going to be one of the success stories on the site .Your profile pictures too is really delightful and will like to know more about you. I will be much grateful to you if we can email each other to get know more about each other. I will appreciate it if you can email me in my personal email because i barely visit this site ..My private email is ... I will like you to reach me on my private email.Looking forward to hear from you soon.Have a pleasant day.

YAY ME.

~ Veronica

First Blind Date... Thanks, Match?

2009-09-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's my story. I haven't been single for more than 3 weeks since I was 25 years old, since I've been floating from one long relationship into another. I think I "know" when one relationship is over when I start to feel attracted to another guy. So then the relationship ends, and there I am with a willing participant ready to jump in again.

My mother and brother, who know me best, think this is a ridiculous cycle and that I should be "on my own" right now, since I just ended a 3-year relationship with someone who "looked terrible on paper," and wasn't that satisfying in person, and since I am now "semi-involved" with a man 10 years younger than me. I'll stop using quotation marks now.

Anyhoo, so I have this adorable eleventeen-year-old who has a crush on me (yay!) and the nookie is the Best Thing Ever, and I am kind of developing a crush on him (yipes!), so I got on Match to explore the dating pool.

Ugh.

After posting 1 photo and a brief profile, I was inundated in the first three hours by an insane array of freakish, desperate-sounding men. We're talking guys with non-ironic moustaches, guys with cats (!!!), guys who LOVE their football teams to the extent that they're wearing the jerseys in their photos. Guys who like to hunt, go camping, or explore the wonders of macrobiotic cooking while watching David Lynch movies. Guys who like "Two and a Half Men." In other words, guys who aren't for me.

Sure, there are probably lots of women out there who are looking for a good guy with a face for radio, but I'm like a guy in that I'm totally visual and need the physical spark to be there before I get to know someone. Shallow? Perhaps. Not a good dating strategy? Perhaps. But I can't eat sushi with someone I don't want to boink. There. I said it.

Anyhoo, so after cancelling my Match membership on Day 1 (which still is active until the end of my indentured servitude to them), the creeps kept a-callin. Or rather, emailing. I was horrified.

But I did find two - two! - who looked interesting. And last night, I went out with one of them. He's 10 years older than me. (Are there no single 38-year-olds in Portland? WTF.) We met at a swanky bar for cocktails, and it started off strangely, kind of awkwardly, but overall pretty well, I guess. However... He didn't stand up when I walked over. Strike one. He talked about himself mostly and didn't get around to asking about me until his second cocktail. Strike two. By cocktail #3 he and I were both plotzed enough to decide to get outta there and head back to our part of town for a nightcap. So we hit a semi-dive bar and proceeded to get sloshed on our fourth drink. It was approximately 9:30 pm at this point. On a Tuesday.

So I peeled myself away (even though it was actually getting fun once I was hammered) and he walked me to my car, where he proceeded to get me in a liplock (NO sparks) and then... I shit you not... he started biting my neck. He was trying to leave hickeys on me! STEEEEE-RIKE THREE.

I don't think I'll see him again romantically, but I did offer to take him shopping. He was wearing a black shirt, STONEWASHED jeans, and brown "douche" shoes. You know the ones - distressed leather, squared-off long toes, tattoo-inspired designs on top.

A woman can always "encourage" a man to change his shoes, but on a first date there should be some rules. For instance, Tevas, flip flops or any sort of mandal are not acceptable. And frankly, neither is anything Bret Michaels would wear.

~ Veronica

Oh me, oh my, oh GOD.

2009-09-01T22:08:00.001-07:00

Lulabelle here!

Just got home from dinner with one of my best girls, D. She is a truly amazing, gorgeous, bright, funny, intelligent woman. And she's single. It's mind-blowing, I tell you. The world is a crazy, crazy place.

But it's not just crazy because D is single. Or because W is single. Or A. Or E. Or the other D. Or, or, or. It's also crazy because in just two hours of being on Match.com I had already received an email to top all other emails.

(Please let it top all other emails, because if not, I'm canceling my account effective immediately. I just don't have the heart - or stomach - for this.)

Honestly, I'm probably too nice for this blog. My friend Elaine would be disgusted with the fact that I can't put the entire message here, but I can't. No matter how wacko I find this email, I believe it may likely be honest - which is heartbreaking and sad.

Excerpt:

"... as long as my heart beat i will seek out your soul and be fullfiled, It's your picture which really attracted me to your profile and i have to write you. really i am impressed with your charming and irresistable looks in your picture, you have swept me off my feet and it is quite enchanting and very captivating too. i will want you for a good, caring, communicative, Committed Friendship and Intimate relationship, Marriage and others as it will be ok for you but this must start as good friends. My names are ------ ------ -------, i am a widower, a father of a Teenage son that i have manage to raise alone ever since i lost his mother to death during child birth, i have been lonly for some years now, but seeing your profile has almost made all that time of lonliness a thing of the past, irrespective of the distance that may seem to be in between us, because i dont believe in distance when it comes to having an Angel like you, I do travel often and am as well making plans to relocate to where ever i will find love, i mean that and hope you find out soon. i have always prayed to have an Angel like you which i know i have found, and hope that you will be that one for me, if it will have to take me relocating to where you are to be with you i will do it without a second thought, no regret because i think you will be worth it..."

I was walking down the sidewalk when this came in on my Blackberry. Trust me when I say that it took every ounce of restraint I had not to dash back to my car and run every single red light getting home to log onto my computer, suspend my Match.com account and call this a lesson learned.

What the f have I gotten myself into.

Egads.

L

Match.com Revisited

2009-09-01T14:26:00.001-07:00

Just over six years ago I moved back to Portland. My closest friends - male and female - were doing the Match.com thing and thought I should as well. It took a little swaying, for sure, but when it came right down to it, I knew it had potential to work... My friend Ruth (not her real name) had met a couple worthwhile guys. One of my dearest friends in Boston had recently married a girl he met through the site. Another friend was falling in love with his Match Girl.

The fact of the matter was, it wasn't just folks in commercials who were finding someone special.

Could it work for me?

I'm pickier than many, it's true. Not quite to a fault, but close. Maybe Match would give me a better base to choose from since I could tell it exactly what I wanted and BINGO!

Not so much:

I said was looking for a man age 29 - 38. I got emails from 58 year old men.

I wrote that I wanted someone 5' 11" or taller. I heard from guys who were 5' 5'' - on a good day.

I checked the box for someone within ten miles of my house (NW Portland at the time). I got emails from men in Spokane, Washington, and New York City.

I said I liked hamburgers and fancy shoes and I got responses from Vegans who liked to camp in the remote wilderness saying it sounded like we had a bunch in common. Hello? Did you read what I wrote? Did you see any backpacks and bedrolls in my pictures?

The thing I found to be the toughest with dating on the internet was the whole attraction and chemistry part of it. (Go ahead and judge me, I'm okay with it. I've got to want to kiss a guy I'm going to date. I'm just crazy like that. ) You can get an idea of what someone looks like in pictures, sure, but we all know the camera can be a phenomenal liar. At least if you meet someone in the real world you know immediately if there's an attraction, and not too shortly thereafter if there's any chemistry.

They say "... give us six months..." Six months? A month into it I was done.

With all this said, my time on Match.com wasn't all bad. Two of my favorite friends are men I met on Match.com dates. If nothing else, meeting them made my first round completely worth it.

Yep, I said "my first round".

Obviously I'm a glutton for punishment because I'm going in again. My agreement to do it for a month was actually a precursor to this blog. I won't get into the specifics, or tell you about the sleepless nights that led to me subscribing... but my two lovely co-bloggers are on, so really, if I want to play with the big girls, it's time to put on my big girl pants.

Maybe it won't suck this time. And hey, worst case I have some good stories to share.

I'm off to make my profile "visible" now. Wish me luck!

Oh, and stay tuned of course...

xoxo

Lulabelle

Huh.

2009-08-31T17:48:00.000-07:00

So,

In August 2009, Marie Claire magazine put our fair city on it's Top 10 list of best cities for single women.

Uh-huh.

Just who are these single women it's best for? I'm curious because last I checked it's not me and my circle, or the circle around our circle, or the circle around that circle, or...

Yeah.

From http://www.kgw.com/lifestyle/stories/kgw_071609_lifestyle_portland_marie_claire_women.45d2128f.html

PORTLAND, Ore. -- The Pacific Northwest is the place to be for single women, according to a popular magazine.

The August issue of Marie Claire ranks the top American cities in which to meet single men. Portland came in 10th while northern neighbor Seattle topped the list, called "Where the Guys Are," as No. 1.

Marie Claire offers women a few “Cliff’s Notes” tips on snagging an available, single man in Bridge City. The magazine suggests women adopt a vegan-friendly diet and lifestyle. Consider moving into a yurt – or lie and pretend to have lived in one. Enjoy dark beer, second-run movie theaters, and, of course, bicycle rides.

Portland’s defining traits are “altruism, ripstop clothing and whiteness,” the magazine warns single women considering a move Northwest.

And the magazine concluded that the average single, available Portland male wants to design sneakers or launch a green energy start-up company.

There's more, but that's enough. This is Portland? Way to be ignorant in your publishing, Marie Claire. How about having someone actually spend some time here?

Portland should be a great city to be single in, although not for the reasons the author gives. This is a very cool, hip town. We have vegans and bicyclers - and we have steak houses and Hummers. We have second-run theaters - and we have major Broadway productions. We have sketchy dive bars - and we have elegant lounges with rooftop patios. We have $1 PBR's - and we have $12 cocktails.

I could go on and on.

But Portland isn't a great city to be single in. No one who lives here could tell you exactly why it's not, it just isn't...

I love Portland and more often than not I actually quite enjoy being single. But when I'm wishing I had a Mr. Maybe, I don't love being single in this town.

And neither do my girlfriends. One night over cocktails, I suggested we invite the writer to come to Portland, push her in the Dating Pool, and watch her drown.

We cheered and toasted.

*Sigh*,

Lulabelle

Dating Diary, round 1

2009-08-31T17:31:00.001-07:00

This is a transcript of a text we sent after getting "winked" at by a total Jethro on Match.com. Is there no dignity in Singlehood?

A: I feel like a bad person for mocking these guys, but wow. Wow.

D: I laughed out loud and the girls are next to me and said, "Why are you laughing, Mom?" And P looked at his pic and said "Who in the heck is he? He looks like Earl." I'm dying.

A: Hahahaha. She's spot on. Maybe his photo is a joke?

D: I actually don't think so. He probably has a cig in one hand and a PBR in the other. Oh wait. Sometimes I do too. Shit.

A: You know he has a Bloodhound named Cooter and a rash on his left leg that's been there since he "gradumacated" 6th grade.